Music: Falling Apart by Matt Nathanson
I was prepared for a boring day (which is good) at work..
But it turned out great in the end because I played hookie and went to a nuclear talk instead, which has by far been the best one I've ever attended.
I thank that little voice that forced me to get out of bed today.. (i was already planning to tuang kerja).. albeit arriving 15 minutes late.
I think going to SA has messed up my mind and sanity, for the past 6 weeks now.
I can't think of anything else but how much I miss that continent..
I really can't describe how the trip has changed how I view things, people, the world, other cultures etc.
I've been reading a lot of travel blogs, and i'm relieved to find out that many travelers out there have had some kind of the same experience as I did, how going to a place has changed their lives forever.
I'm not saying I'm a totally different person now, but internally, I AM a little different now.
A little, but different nonetheless.
I don't expect anyone to understand, except my travel buddies on the trip.
They seem to be going through the same thing as I am right now (maybe to varying degrees).
Now I can't think of anything else but traveling.. as in take a year off kind of traveling..
The ambition and drive is there..
I feel so inspired...
This feeling is probably augmented in me more than ever at this moment because I'm currently reading Three Cups of Tea, its such an eye opener and Dr. Greg is such a inspirational human being (i'll review the book soon).
But since the last hour or so, I've started feeling really2 depressed.. I am not kidding.
For the only thing that is preventing me from pursuing what I see as my dream now, is money.
To fund my travel ambitions.
Ok so in the normal process of Kirah's psychology and how Kirah's brain works..
This is the point where I feel hopeless and I can't do anything about it, I'll feel all sad inside and listen to sappy songs just to feel the full extent of this despair that I am currently feeling.
Call it living your life to the fullest, experiencing the full range of emotions that we are capable of (feel better later).
Then its acceptance.
The next phase would be thinking of various ways to make this new dream of mine a reality.
There are a lot of ideas out there, some I can consider, some not.
But for now i'll just be compiling a database of options, but to actually act upon it (ie more research and more googling and talking to ppl-if i can find the right ppl to talk to).. will probably take place much later..
Because this is just a dream for now..
And there's a more pressing important matter that I have to worry about right now..
But I'm not good at worrying, coz i dont do much of it.
I'm all up and down inside, its worst than a roller coaster.
Sometimes i'm totally fine, and sometimes i'm just messed up.
And at this very moment, i'm feeling super messed up.
Just passing through.
I'm not irrational. but can this be because I listen to my heart more than my brain?
I was prepared for a boring day (which is good) at work..
But it turned out great in the end because I played hookie and went to a nuclear talk instead, which has by far been the best one I've ever attended.
I thank that little voice that forced me to get out of bed today.. (i was already planning to tuang kerja).. albeit arriving 15 minutes late.
I think going to SA has messed up my mind and sanity, for the past 6 weeks now.
I can't think of anything else but how much I miss that continent..
I really can't describe how the trip has changed how I view things, people, the world, other cultures etc.
I've been reading a lot of travel blogs, and i'm relieved to find out that many travelers out there have had some kind of the same experience as I did, how going to a place has changed their lives forever.
I'm not saying I'm a totally different person now, but internally, I AM a little different now.
A little, but different nonetheless.
I don't expect anyone to understand, except my travel buddies on the trip.
They seem to be going through the same thing as I am right now (maybe to varying degrees).
Now I can't think of anything else but traveling.. as in take a year off kind of traveling..
The ambition and drive is there..
I feel so inspired...
This feeling is probably augmented in me more than ever at this moment because I'm currently reading Three Cups of Tea, its such an eye opener and Dr. Greg is such a inspirational human being (i'll review the book soon).
But since the last hour or so, I've started feeling really2 depressed.. I am not kidding.
For the only thing that is preventing me from pursuing what I see as my dream now, is money.
To fund my travel ambitions.
Ok so in the normal process of Kirah's psychology and how Kirah's brain works..
This is the point where I feel hopeless and I can't do anything about it, I'll feel all sad inside and listen to sappy songs just to feel the full extent of this despair that I am currently feeling.
Call it living your life to the fullest, experiencing the full range of emotions that we are capable of (feel better later).
Then its acceptance.
The next phase would be thinking of various ways to make this new dream of mine a reality.
There are a lot of ideas out there, some I can consider, some not.
But for now i'll just be compiling a database of options, but to actually act upon it (ie more research and more googling and talking to ppl-if i can find the right ppl to talk to).. will probably take place much later..
Because this is just a dream for now..
And there's a more pressing important matter that I have to worry about right now..
But I'm not good at worrying, coz i dont do much of it.
I'm all up and down inside, its worst than a roller coaster.
Sometimes i'm totally fine, and sometimes i'm just messed up.
And at this very moment, i'm feeling super messed up.
Just passing through.
I'm not irrational. but can this be because I listen to my heart more than my brain?
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