Music: Don't Cry by Guns N Roses

Night shift.
This song brings back good memories.
The 2nd KL Freeze is going to be held at Sunway Pyramid.
Eventhough its for a good and worthy cause, I still think its kinda lame.
But oh well.

After a busy month in March (well not that busy, but busy nonetheless by my standards)
alas my life is returning to its normal pace
I can continue doing whatever i've been doing with leisure (not that much anyway)
i get sucked into all these tv shows and jdramas..
that i wished my life was different
but who am i to complain, life has been good to me so far
i hope it will be good to me in the future
i don't deal very well with crisis and chaos, so yeah im grateful

i'm starting to be very complacent with my job that my performance has not been up to par as it was from when i first started
when i first got this job and position
i convinced myself that i'm doing a major service to the country
i'm giving back
a direct contribution in a way
there's only 6 people doing what i'm doing in the whole of Malaysia
it made me feel good and useful and important
to give you an understanding of the importance if this job
consider this situation
if i don't do my job (ie literally i dont do anything AT ALL, just sit in the control room at my designated desk and look at all these monitors in front of me.. )
between 8am to 8.30am on a weekday..
our national grid would collapse and we'd have a national blackout in mere minutes.
if u'd like to know how that is technically possible, feel free to contact me lol.
well, that's just one example. i can give more. again, feel free to contact me if ure curious.
its hugely complicated to explain though
responsibilty is huge
that's why we go through months of training.. well in my case 3 months lah
and simulation tests and interviews..
to get certified.
that said, i was terrified at first.
but after training and lots of practice
its became a routine, i gained confidence
i am able to react during crisis and emergency situations
furthermore there are always bosses around to consult and give advice
still, its my job nonetheless.. 6 of us.
but now, its been exactly a year..
and im getting restless and bored
i make mistakes.. not major ones but mistakes nonetheless
the huge burden i felt before is gone
i need to feel invigorated like before
when every shift felt like an adventure
when i learnt something new everytime i came to work
i realize im adopting a very lackadaisal attitude lately
but i cant seem to, reignite myself, if you will
of course, my heart race almost always increases when some crisis emerges
but its not as exciting as before
ive got to find a way to make this fun again
work is such a big part of our lives
when work is not as fun as before, my life in general takes the heat as well
but of course there are perks of this job that i simply love.
i get many off days..
i get extra money..
i dont have to do mundane paperworks or reports or documentations
i get to wake up late when i work evening shifts
i get to finish early when i work morning shifts
the downsides..
i may not get public holidays off
including raya and all that
i may not get weekends off
i have to work night shifts like right now.. which is freaking tiring..
it takes 2 days for me to recover after my night shifts
but then, that's why i get allowances right
no one in their right mind would want to do this job if they're not compensated

damn i kinda forgot what i was complaining about initially
well, after all that being said
i do like my job
i guess im yearning for those feelings when i first started..
i still have lots to learn.. like, super duper crazy alot.
im still one of the least knowledgable around here
but im just being lazy
so buck up me and dont be a spoiled brat

however, the one thing i'm dyyyying to do right now is... karaoke!!!
and drink teh o limau panas
its been a while since ive hung out at mamak stalls.