After some years of working, the hopes & dreams, the sheer optimism, the thoughts of endless opportunities and possibilities waiting for us, those that we so naively believe post-undergrad.. are slowly chipped away by the realities of the real-world..
I for one just wanted to have a breath of fresh air and supposedly 'advance' myself, from a job that seemed to have come to a stagnant and plateaued..
Deep down, I had to have something to call my own when everybody around me have stepped into the next phase in life called 'marriage'.
I've used traveling as an excuse to distract myself from the fact that i'm heading nowhere in the direction that is expected.
Suffice to say, i see myself as a failure in that regard.
But then again, i wasn't expecting any kind of soul searching journey too.
And i wouldnt say this experience has made me 'find' my soul, so to speak.
In fact, i've never been more confused than now, about myself as a person and what i want in this life.
I have also sort of strayed away a little from the level of spirituality i had with religion..
Its so easy to get distracted.. and i only blame myself for it.
I am guilty of loving this world too much, and also loving the impossible, person and idea alike.
I would so desire to get back on track, and be able to exercise some self-restraint..
I know what i have to do.. but i am so weak-willed..
And at this moment, i wish half of the world is not so cold right now coz i'm having a freakin hard time choosing a place to get lost in during this winter break!!!
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