Peace

There's something about the holy month of Ramadhan that makes me feel good..
Is it because all the devils are tied?
Last year I didn't really make full use of all the extra goodness that comes with it..
I would like to try to be better this year.. do more stuff that I should, if you know what i mean..
The theme of Mufti Menk's Ramadhan series lecture this year is about peace... and the book of peace (Quran)..
well the Quran is a book of many things..
But essentially it can bring you the peace you need.. recite it.. read it.. understand it.. all the answers are there.. if one looks carefully.. that's the message..
i'm really trying to find some peace and happiness here..
being in this perpetual state of sadness is really sucking the life out of me..
first and foremost.. i really need to literally forgive and forget..
its a bit hard to do when you're deeply hurt..
when everyday you have to look at whatever it is that has hurt you..
you want to forget it, but its in your face
as a defense mechanism, i just do my own thing and mind my own business
to self-protect myself..
but its not really working that well for me..
coz it does get lonely being alone all the time..
and when people see me they will say "heyy where have you been?" or "i haven't seen you for a long time"
and this month my disappearance will be all the more obvious since i don't have to go to the cafeteria
lunch and dinner is the only time i to get to meet everyone.. lol..
ok i've rambled on too far from the main topic.

anyway, selamat berpuasa to all..

p/s: my favorite lecture series by Mufti Menk is the stories about our prophets.. i never get bored listening to them over and over and over again..